That feelings.

Like other typical mom. I do worried much each time my kids down with fever. So i took an EL yesterday n went up to the nearby clinic. Doc said it was just a mild one. Perhaps, i overthink much.

Yayness! Ain..oh ain!

Having another quality time with "Amanah Allah" for the whole day!
Another sleepless night with (tossing and turning) imran lately, makes me wonder of thousands ppl face up difficulties of having a babies.

Aku insafi diri yg kadangnya merungut ttg life stuggle lately instead of the unexpected 'invisible hand' straight from Allah, mmbuatkan aku sujud syukur kehadratNYA. Apa lagi yang perlu aku cari dlm hidup ni selain dari redha Allah?

Alhamdulillah, moga aku sentiasa mengutamakan Allah dlm setiap perkara yang aku lakukan. In shaa Allah, mudah2an. Aamiin. Slow2 pun lantaklah, yang pasti ada progress. Maka, Allah jualah yang tahu.

Jihad.

Animal Instinct by Cranberries.

Suka sgt lagu ni.

Sbb aku punya instinct yg sgt kuat.

Plus the ability utk predict.

Well..Allah knws best.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Suddenly something has happened to me

As I was having my cup of tea

Suddenly I was feeling depressed

I was utterly and totally stressed

 

Do you know you made me cry

Do you know you made me die

And the thing that gets to me

Is you'll never really see

And the thing that freaks me out

Is I'll always be in doubt

It is a lovely thing that we have

It is a lovely thing that we

It is a lovely thing, the animal

The animal instinct

So take my hands and come with me

We will change reality

So take my hands and we will pray

They won't take you away

 

They will never make me cry, no

They will never make me die

And the thing that gets to me

Is you'll never really see

And the thing that freaks me out

Is I'll always be in doubt

The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me

It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me

It's the animal, it's the animal,

It's the animal instinct in me [Repeat x2]

 

 

Rindu yg membunuh.

 

_Blue.

Throwback Sunday

Bongiorno!

 

It was a lovely weekend with kiddos.

Danial was so happy.

And Imran were extra happier than ever!

 

Well masing2 dgn cuzzie mmg hidup laa!

 





 

no thanks mom! don't touch me! everrrrrr!! roarrr

shall we go here more oftenly mom?

the view from lake

dong..dong chang! Happy Chinese New Year !!



mami ni asik amik picture je! sy nak main laa!

shiuuu..

friends.

Subhanallah. (did u knw the exact color of the skies while
sunset is RED? Not orange! (Masa PMR kuar soalan ni dlm subj science)
Bahaha..

Pak Nah n Mak Nah yang sukaaaa layan baby n kids!
Moga Allah murakan rezeki anak pd mereka akan dtg.
Aamiin!

That's all 4 now.

Blue.

Rindu.

Hanya DIA yg tahu perasaan ni.

"..tuk selalu mega mega
 menembus dinding waktu
 ku terbaring dan pejamkan mata
 dalam hati ku panggil namamu
 semoga saja kau dengar dan merasakan.."

R
I
N
D
U

menyapa nama itu dlm doaku disaat rindu.
..jauh ku berharap moga sama seperti bayangan yg ku impikan semalam.


Blue.

We are adult.

Think like one lah.
Cakap biar serupa bikin.
Jangan sibuk cari salah kita sesama manusia.
Jangan kusutkan diri dengan hal peribadi individu yg lain.
Kurangkan umpatan, kejian, iri hati.
Meski tahu diri x sempurna, usaha utk bersihkan hati.
Hentikan telahan yg sia2.
Remember,
The more you gv fuck, the more fucked up in life you'll end with.
Be professional dlm segala hal.
Be a drama-less person.
Be an Ego-less person.
Hargai orang sekeliling, esp yang ada dan tolong waktu susah senang kita.
Live life to the fullest.
Fikir mcmana nk bahagiakan diri sendiri.
Redha dlm segala hal (kehidupan yg lalu)
Pupuk hidup dlm positive (paksa diri be positive!)
Travel a lot as it'll bring you a peace of mind.
Banyakkan sangka baik (I knw tis is hard) but worth try.
Banyakkan zikr. Krn zikrullah adlh penawar bg hati.
Ingat Allah, Ingat mati.

Tiada air ikan mati.
Tiada zikir hati mati.


*Hari tua kelak, jadilah kita org tua yang penuh dgn ilmu didada. Bukan ilmu PHD yg diperlukan. Tapi jiwa yg kaya dgn ilmu pemikiran positive n membina dlm setiap tutur bahasa. So that secara x langsung kita mampu beri inspiration pd org sekeliling utk berubah kearah positive juga.

.."Allah will not change the condition of a people, until they change what is in themselves.." (Surah Ar Ra'd : 11)

Mother of 2 sons.

Hei..i'm back.

Time flies.

After I got pregnant the second time, how i wish to hav a girl on the upnext.  IF it was a girl then I would have to buy all new stuff, I would get to do mother-daughter things and I've gotta dress em' up.

On the 2nd trim, i drove myself early than the estimated appmnt stated in the pregnancy card. Am so excited whenever Dr Jaafar (Ob gyn specialist in Kpj Tawakkal Hosp) said that he'll let me knw on the next appmt. So there i go, with the sparkled eyes plus the anticipation n hoping much it wud b 'yeayy..congratulations, its a girl!'

Guess what? its a boy! I mean.. well, yeah is it necessary despite the fact that if i having another boy in mylife? How about I  just b happy that I've finally gave birth to a healthy baby? Isnt that wonderful? Allahu..(wth that i'm thinkin of??) Alhamdulillah, having 2 boys in my life is constantly full of excitement and adventure.

1. Short-shirt-ready to go : Easy dress up! boys love their mom n usually as we knw they've being momma-boys even after they get married. Its a bond thet u cant ever compare between momn son where they'll always come 2 u when u need somethin, like mommy always knw what best.

2. The test : As they get older, i dun hav to worry about the heels, the low cut hijab, dress or skirts. Just throw on a nice shirt n pair of jeans n they're gud 2 go.

3. Balances of my Girly Girl life : Maybe theres a type of woman who doesnt like to spend so much make up or even accessories n perfumes instead. To b truth, i'm a totally girly girl. I love cosmetics, accessories, jewelery n etc. I do always put on make up just 4 the sake of pegi kedai mamak beli bfast! Can u believe it? it takes me very minimal time to get my boys ready since I have no hair pins or fancy shoes or accessories to focus on.

4. Besties : The brotherly bond. I've been travelled a lot with my boys. Last time it was in Krabi. As the driver drove fast n suddenly brakes, lil'bryan adams hug his brotha tightly as he almost fell off frm the seats! *i turn my head n Wept my tears off before i get caught. 

5. Kinda nice for being someone that they're depending on. They look up to me, respect me n truly depend on me which make me feel great!


To all mommas that having two boys or more. You are awesome!!

*Cant wait for the Berkhatan's Ceremony!



Blue_

Lagu yg mengkhayalkan diri.

..dan bagai menari2 si semangat jahat.

[Kelana]

 Aduh Neng... hadirmu tidak pernah kuseru
 Aduh Neng... cukuplah merasuk ikut nafsu
 Aduh Neng... kepindingmu sudah masuk baju
 Aduh Neng... Aduh Neng...

 VERSE 1
 [Agenda]

 Yang malam semalam malam ni atau malam tu,
 Yang selama ini alkisahnya tetap satu,
 Yang bertemu ratu atau yang dilontar batu,
 Yang musykil itu aku, kelkatu atau hantu?
 Rembulan purnama yang penuh mahupun terang,
 Terdengar riuhan keramaian atau perang,
 Penglihatan kabur kadangnya mengundang berang,
 Yang kudengar gema pukul gamelan dan gendang,
 Si empunya gong tembaga,
 Ukirannya berkepala naga naga saga,
 Berpesta wahai lembaga,
 Meriahnya mereka sedia untuk memperaga,
 Sekelian seperangkat dan seangkatan,
 Seakan tak perasan tanpa sekatan,
 Setanggi menyemarakkan lagi,
 Pesta karut jadi gempita larut pagi.

 CHORUS
 [Kelana]

 Aduh Neng... hadirmu tidak pernah kuseru
 Aduh Neng... cukuplah merasuk ikut nafsu
 Aduh Neng... kepindingmu sudah masuk baju
 Aduh Neng... Aduh Neng...

 VERSE 2
 [Kirana]

 Namaku Neng Dayang
 Nikmati gemalai mayang
 Diri di tengah gelanggang
 Mari masuk ikut pandang
 Nadi iring palu gendang
 Gong tembaga menitir canang
 Andainya nanti aku hilang
 Usah diserang jiwaku tenang
 Direntap selempang saat Si Lumping berjaga,
 Sembilan penunggang bersedia menghentak raga,
 Dikecap sedulang santapan dari penjaga,
 Sambilan bergendang gamelan berlima warga,
 Memuncak gemuruhnya dalam malam kudusku,
 Setanggi diperasap mantera menghunusku,
 Yang lihat itu nyata yang rasukku berkuku,
 Muslihat pintu mata rahsianya terbuku.

 CHORUS
 [Kelana]

 Aduh Neng... hadirmu tidak pernah kuseru
 Aduh Neng... cukuplah merasuk ikut nafsu
 Aduh Neng... kepindingmu sudah masuk baju
 Aduh Neng... Aduh Neng...

 VERSE 3
 [Kelana]

 Mata kabur hati tak menentu,
 Meremang‐remang bulu romaku,
 Jampi serapah telinga berpusu,
 Siapa yang menuju?
 Pusing kepala mendongak ke awan,
 Pohon lindungan darimu gemawan,
 Kuleraikan pedati di tangan,
 Kuda kulepaskan.
 [Kelana & Kirana]
 Sikit‐sikit ditarik,
 Perlahan dikepit,
 Hilang rasa serik,
 Yang tinggal hanya nafsu‐nafsi
 Sikit‐sikit ditarik,
 Perlahan dikepit,
 Hilang rasa serik,
 Yang tinggal hanya nafsu‐nafsi.

 CHORUS
 [Kelana]

 Aduh Neng... hadirmu tidak pernah kuseru
 Aduh Neng... cukuplah merasuk ikut nafsu
 Aduh Neng... kepindingmu sudah masuk baju
 Aduh Neng... Aduh Neng...

 OUTRO
 [Nukilan]

 Aduh Neng...
 (Mantera Jawa)
 Aduh Neng...

Good bye to miserable life!

Monday..Tuesday..Wednesday..ayy..


It was a quiet and peaceful weekdays.

As i mention before, have other goals set, but they aren't so much resolutions as habits I want to maintain e.g (read another 26 books, registering maself study, go 2 the gym more oftenly, drink more water, spend less time looking at my iPhone, blog once a week, be a compassionate human being, good friend, looking out for a new life partner, avoiding dramas, less fickle in my heart, etc.

Overall I'm looking forward to the New Year Mood. Thou 2015 was tough but it's ending on a good lesson for me to learn which now I'm entering 2016 full of hope and gratitude, and that wud b an excellent place to start i guess.

I've been writing this blog for over 9 years, and in all that time I've never strayed far from the "personal blog" category.Overall this blog has been a slow and steady compilation of my life. And it wasn't unique, either. Remember, I started blogging back when we all had LiveJournal accounts, Xanga and wrote aimlessly about our day, sharing too many details about our love lives, big dreams, and irrational fears. The most part of blogging world is much cause of I'm a nosy person in nature, I just keep on sharing story with ppl.

Melangkah lebih jauh from now on! 2016. Leave all the sadness n sorrow behind. God bless me and all of you.
 

Hi, Name is Ai nee.
2016.
Wanna be my partner?
Lets hang out!

I hope your New Year was just as lovely but significantly more brighter than before.
I'm On to the next Adventure!



Stand by me,
Bluesands_xoxo.








Wordless wednesday.

 "Yakinkan aku Tuhan
 Dia bukan milikku
 Biarkan waktu..
 Hapus aku...

 

 Sedarkan aku Tuhan
 Dia bukan milikku
 Biarkan waktu, waktu..
 Hapus aku..."

 

 

Buang semua puisi

 antara kita berdua.

 

_blue

This feelings is terrible.

I did it again.

Sorry for giving u much of hope n destroyed it all of a sudden in a middle of joy that we've been created together.

Now.

Look at me, I'm a mistake.
From the moment you saw me,
 don't you think that ur feelings is all wrong?
Don't you?

Yeah, nobody screwed up myself better than me.
I'm truly sorry.

Bang my head.

Bang in my head (DG ft Sia n Fetty Wap)


I was bound, was tired
Hadn't seen a light so long
Thought I lost my fight
Couldn't find my way back home
And I found the light stepping out of me
I was bound, and tired
Waiting for daylight

[Pre-Chorus:]
Bang my head up against the wall
Though I feel light headed, now I know I will not fall
I will rise above it all
Found what I was searching for
Though I feel light headed
I should have failed, and nailed the floor
Instead I rose above it all

[Chorus:]
Oh, oh, oh
Bang my head up against the wall
Oh, oh, oh
Instead I rose above it all
(Bang my head against the wall)

[Verse 2:]
When you think you're giving up
Just know, you might think you're dying but you won't
And you feel the love stepping out of you
But when you think of giving up, don't

[Pre-Chorus:]
Bang your head up against the wall
You may feel light headed, but you won't crawl, no, you won't fall
You will rise above it all
You'll find what you're searching for
And you may feel light headed
You think you're gonna hit the floor
Instead you rise above it all

[Chorus:]
Oh, oh, oh
Bang your head against the wall
Oh, oh, oh
Instead you rise above it all
(Bang my head against the wall)

[Bridge:]
I have broken wings
I keep trying, keep trying
No one get out
Oh I'm flying, oh I'm flying

[Pre-Chorus:]
Bang my head against the wall
Though I feel light headed, now I know I will not fall
I will rise above it all
Found what I was searching for
Though I feel light headed, I should have failed, and nailed the floor
Instead I rose above it all

[Chorus:]
Oh, oh, oh
Bang my head up against the wall
Oh, oh, oh
Bang my head against the wall
Bang my head against the wall
Instead I rise above it all